The Accolade, by Edmund Leighton
Today it is "normal" or "expected" for men to be effeminate, lazy & laidback. Gentlemen are hard to find & are few between. There is an attack on male respect, masculinity & the Biblical concept of male headship. Patriarchy & fatherly protection are thrown out the window. Manners, etiquette & modesty are gone. Roles are reversed. You see "strong," independent men usurping mans' God-given roles & men abdicating left & right, all over the place.
Honorable, chivalrous gentlemen & codes of conduct are things of the past. It used to be that men proved their manhood by being honorable. A man is no longer expected to be a Protector, Provider, Patriarch or Priest to his family, as those are now outdated, old-fashioned, sexist, unequal concepts- as if women needed to be protected or provided for (the idea!). Men today don't know what it means be a man or how to behave around women.
What has changed? Why aren't young men being best prepared today to be those things??? To be full of faith, walking in integrity, preparing to lead & provide for & protect & intercede for their future wives & children? Why are men waiting so long to pursue a wife? Why do they feel like they must wait years before they marry; that they must graduate from college, be financially stable, fully established, have a secure job & career etc before they pursue a wife? What needs to be done differently???
What does it mean to be a man in today's culture? How has that definition changed over the years? How can we expect me to be honorable when a large number of women consistently send them the message that they don't have to be? What if all women expected a lot more of all men? How different would our society look then???
These questions seem to have been around, since the beginning of time- in the Garden, when Eve first tried to usurp her husband's role & step out ahead of him. But I believe that our problem has only gotten worse, as time has gone on...
"'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial.
'I have the right to do anything' —but not everything is constructive."
'I have the right to do anything' —but not everything is constructive."
- 1 Corinthians 10:23
Consider these rules from a 1956 etiquette book:
Walking with a woman: A) In general, a man walks on the curb side of
the street... In walking with two women, a man should keep to
the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other.
the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other.
B) A man always opens a door for a woman, & holds it for her
to go through. In case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push
to go through. In case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push
& then lets her precede him.
C) A man carries packages or suitcases for a woman
Rising for a woman: A) A man rises when a woman comes into a room,
& remains standing until she sits down or leaves, except at a large
party where people are coming & going all the time.
& remains standing until she sits down or leaves, except at a large
party where people are coming & going all the time.
B) A man rises when a woman comes to the table (or half- rises,
at least, in a crowded restaurant) & remains standing til she sits down
at least, in a crowded restaurant) & remains standing til she sits down
or asks him to sit down.
C) A man also rises when a woman leaves the table...
D) A man rises to speak to a woman or be introduced to her...
Courtesies to Women Strangers: A) This takes a little observation on
your part, & it's hard to draw up fast rules about it. If a woman drops her
glove in the street, you'd certainly pick it up... It is not particularly
charming, incidentally, to race a woman, young or old, for
a vacant seat. Tip your hat when you're thanked, & take care
to keep the whole thing impersonal so that it doesn't look as if
you have ulterior motives...
I once heard a quote that every "once in a while a man comes along who isn't afraid to be a gentleman..." That being said, there are still gentlemen out there. Some guys aren't afraid to hold open the door for ladies, give up their chair, give them their coat, walk on the outside of the sidewalk etc. Some guys still are being raised right... Their parents are teaching them manners, chivalry, civility etc. My fiance is one of those men!!! :) I am blessed to have him in my life!!!
Chivalry is not dead, praise the Lord!!! There is still hope! There are still gentlemen out there! And they are worth waiting for, to be sure!!!
