Wednesday, July 25, 2012

"Are You a Woman that a Man Would Die For?"

The Accolade, by Edmund Leighton

Second post today. Earlier this week, my dear friend Marjolaine & I were discussing something. Here are my thoughts concerning the topic.

At our CHEF homeschool Conference back in June (the 18th & 19th), Mr Doug Phillips spoke on the topic of "Covenant Keepers on the Deck of the Titanic." He talked about the theme of "women & children first" being an act of chivalry; of the bravery of the men on board the Titanic being the symbol of one of the last great stands of Christendom principles. I would highly encourage you listen to this CD. It is well worth it!

One of his points stuck out to me. He was talking about the Ladies' Tea at the Titanic 100 Event that his ministry (Vision Forum) held back in April. [For more information on this event, check out the April blog archives here]

At this Tea, his wife Beall challenged the ladies present with this question- "

"Are you a woman a man would die for?"

 Wow. What a thought!

Other questions included:

How can we as women inspire the men in our lives to sacrifice for us?
Are we worthy of such sacrifice?
What kind of attitudes should we cultivate and actions should we aspire to raise our character?
How can we live, day to day, in a manner which would make worthwhile a man’s sacrifice?
How do we inspire [ men around us] to consider it an honor (not an obligation) to lay down their lives for us?
What attitudes and actions do you need to cultivate in your daily life?
How can you become a woman worthy of such sacrifice?

A disclaimer: "In the ultimate sense, of course, no, we are not worthy. We are ultimately worthy only of death and damnation. And the charge for men to give up their lives for their brides as Christ gave His for the church is not based on the merit or deserving character of the bride. It is their duty and obligation regardless." - Beall Phillips

She talks of heroines in the Bible (Sarah, Ruth & Esther) portrayed certain character traits worth emulating. For the entire article, click here.


But this got me thinking. Several years ago, I compiled a list of character qualities that I would like to see in my future husband (to see this list, click here). I began praying through these, praying them over my future husband; that if it was God's Will, he would exhibit these in his life. That I would wait patiently for God to bring that right man into my life, content to not compromise & settle for less.

This is all good & well, but then the Lord convicted me. How dare I ask the Lord to grow these traits in my future husband if I don't portray them in my own life??? How dare I expect him to be far more godly than I, a sinner?

So now, as I pray through this list, I ask the Lord to grow these traits in my future husband and me, that we may both glorify God together through our lives, that we may become more Christ-like & that His light shines through us...

I hope this is an encouragement to you!


  1. That last realization is extremely powerful, Kate! It is tempting to set out all kinds of great ideas for what we want to see in our future husbands (or friends, parents, siblings, coworkers, etc.) but not apply the same standards to ourselves.

    If I want a Mr. Right, I have to be a Miss Right. That's all there is to it.

    Thanks for posting!

  2. Thanks for your comment, Abby! Amen! I agree completely! Be blessed today!

  3. Thanks for writing out these thoughts, Kate. I have known them for years, but it was only when I heard the theme of Mrs. Phillip's talk at the Tea that I really began thinking about the importance of acting like a lady worth dying for. I also agree that we may have amazingly high standards for our future husbands....but how are we striving towards those same standards? Somehow we have this idea that we have the power to say ''yes'' to any grand young man someday whom we think is the right one....but what if HE doesn't want US because we are immature or selfish, etc.?

    And: terrible thought- what if our marriage has to be postponed on account of our immaturity. What a waste.

    God bless you Kate!

  4. :) Thanks for the comment, my dear friend! Yes, this was a reminder to me also.

    I'm looking forward to hearing Mrs Phillips' CD on the subject!

    I agree that we need to hold OURSELVES to the same HIGH standards that we ask of our future husbands... Not requiring anything reasonable from them that we wouldn't be willing to do ourselves also...

    Asking God to reveal our shortcomings, sin, faults etc that need to change... Doing Hard Things. :) I believe that it's vitally IMPORTANT for us to use this time of singleness to ACTIVELY prepare for to be the best help-meets possible for our future husbands... Using our time WISELY etc.

    Thank you for your comments & for sharing your wisdom!

    God's richest blessings on you also, my friend! :)