A Return to Modesty- Part III

In our culture today, there seems to be a gross disrespect for female modesty. In fact, there appears to be an attack on female modesty. Modesty is now viewed as outdated & old-fashioned. Society's standards have drastically lowered. People aren't bothered when girls are promiscuous, but they are disgusted when they are shy & reserved! Something is very wrong with this picture... What is our nation coming too???

Most girls don't know how to set limits & boundaries with others. They have lost their parental cover & their father's protection. Parents no longer give advice, guidance, wisdom, experience or rules. Girls are left on their own, to fend for themselves, throughout life, as best as they can... Few fathers are at home. Divorce & remarriage is rampant. The fathers that are at home are consumed by work, sports, hobbies etc. So the girls try to fill the void in their life with other male affections. Break ups, being dumped, depression, becoming promiscuous, living in sin etc are all "normal," "common place," & even "expected" now a days... They are trying everything, anything is allowed, no one is happy & they have nothing to look forward to, once they're married... A lot of unmarried couples are living together & so many married couples are having affairs today. It is sad, what we have gotten to... Women are seen as nothing more than objects to be used & discarded. Homosexuality is rampant. There is now sex-ed in kindergarten!!! What in the world??? Society is falling apart at the seams!

"Intimacy is the reward of commitment"

- Josh Harris 

Now compare our culture's current standards of (im)modesty & (in)decency to those of the past- where modesty was a treasure. Where intimacy was a gift, to only be displayed in marriage, between one man & one woman. Where male chivalry, headship, leadership, respect & gentlemanly actions ran rampant. Modesty used to be essential & necessary. Women were seen as possessors of a deep & wondrous secret, that was revealed only to the one who proved himself worthy of her. How very different things are today!!!

 What has happened??? How has it come to be that modesty (which used to be a virtue) has now become the bane of modern civilization? How did we get to where we are now? What are we doing wrong??? And what can we do to fix it???

 I believe that we should desire to return to modesty, to the time-tested solutions of years past. By definition, modesty is humility, integrity, virtuousness, shyness, moral, bashfulness, respect for decency, self-restraint, consciousnesses,  purity, chastity & dignity. It has to do with inner beauty. It is a heart issue. Real modesty isn't based on fashion, but on appropriateness. There is such a thing as false modesty also. It's like trying to put a band-aid on an amputated limb.

Christians today look no different than the world. If nothing is secret, then nothing is sacred. Women have the capacity to make men virtuous by acting modestly. We should be saving ourselves for our beloved only. We should be promoting chastity before marriage & fidelity in marriage. Divorce should not be an option!!!

What are you trying to say, by the way you dress, walk, speak & portray yourself? What kind of woman do you want to become?  Even more importantly, what kind of woman does God want you to become??? What kind of reputation do you want to be known for? "Are you a woman worth dying for???"Are you looking to please God with your life? Or man???

  "But there must be not even a hint of sexual immorality & all impurity
or covetousness among you, as is proper among saints..."

- Ephesians 5:3

" And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the
Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him...
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance
as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

- Colossians 3:17, 23-24

"Since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'”

- 1 Peter 1:16

" Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for
you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

"Modesty must be your guide, vertuous thoughts your guard, so shall Heaven be your goale." - Richard Brathwait, 1631

Related posts:

Are You A Woman Worth Dying For?
Why Modesty? Part I
What is "True Modesty"? Part II
Is Chivalry Dead?

Is Chivalry Dead?

The Accolade, by Edmund Leighton

Today it is "normal" or "expected" for men to be effeminate, lazy & laidback. Gentlemen are hard to find & are few between. There is an attack on male respect, masculinity & the Biblical concept of male headship. Patriarchy & fatherly protection are thrown out the window. Manners, etiquette & modesty are gone. Roles are reversed. You see "strong," independent men usurping mans' God-given roles & men abdicating left & right, all over the place.

Honorable, chivalrous gentlemen & codes of conduct are things of the past. It used to be that men proved their manhood by being honorable. A man is no longer expected to be a Protector, Provider, Patriarch or Priest to his family, as those are now outdated, old-fashioned, sexist, unequal concepts- as if women needed to be protected or provided for (the idea!). Men today don't know what it means be a man or how to behave around women.

What has changed? Why aren't young men being best prepared today to be those things??? To be full of faith, walking in integrity, preparing to lead & provide for & protect & intercede for their future wives & children? Why are men waiting so long to pursue a wife? Why do they feel like they must wait years before they marry; that they must graduate from college, be financially stable, fully established, have a secure job & career etc before they pursue a wife? What needs to be done differently???

What does it mean to be a man in today's culture? How has that definition changed over the years? How can we expect me to be honorable when a large number of women consistently send them the message that they don't have to be? What if all women expected a lot more of all men? How different would our society look then???

These questions seem to have been around, since the beginning of time- in the Garden, when Eve first tried to usurp her husband's role & step out ahead of him. But I believe that our problem has only gotten worse, as time has gone on...

"'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial.
'I have the right to do anything' —but not everything is constructive."

- 1 Corinthians 10:23

Consider these rules from a 1956 etiquette book:

Walking with a woman: A) In general, a man walks on the curb side of

the street... In walking with two women, a man should keep to
the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other.

 B) A man always opens a door for a woman, & holds it for her
to go through. In case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push

& then lets her precede him. 

C) A man carries packages or suitcases for a woman 

 

Rising for a woman: A) A man rises when a woman comes into a room,
& remains standing until she sits down or leaves, except at a large
party where people are coming & going all the time.

B) A man rises when a woman comes to the table (or half- rises,
at least, in a crowded restaurant) & remains standing til she sits down

or asks him to sit down.

C) A man also rises when a woman leaves the table...

D) A man rises to speak to a woman or be introduced to her...

Courtesies to Women Strangers: A) This takes a little observation on

your part, & it's hard to draw up fast rules about it. If a woman drops her

glove in the street, you'd certainly pick it up... It is not particularly

charming, incidentally, to race a woman, young or old, for

a vacant seat. Tip your hat when you're thanked, & take care

to keep the whole thing impersonal so that it doesn't look as if

you have ulterior motives...

I once heard a quote that every "once in a while a man comes along who isn't afraid to be a gentleman..." That being said, there are still gentlemen out there. Some guys aren't afraid to hold open the door for ladies, give up their chair, give them their coat, walk on the outside of the sidewalk etc. Some guys still are being raised right... Their parents are teaching them manners, chivalry, civility etc. My fiance is one of those men!!! :) I am blessed to have him in my life!!!

Chivalry is not dead, praise the Lord!!! There is still hope! There are still gentlemen out there! And they are worth waiting for, to be sure!!!