A Return to Modesty- Part III

In our culture today, there seems to be a gross disrespect for female modesty. In fact, there appears to be an attack on female modesty. Modesty is now viewed as outdated & old-fashioned. Society's standards have drastically lowered. People aren't bothered when girls are promiscuous, but they are disgusted when they are shy & reserved! Something is very wrong with this picture... What is our nation coming too???

Most girls don't know how to set limits & boundaries with others. They have lost their parental cover & their father's protection. Parents no longer give advice, guidance, wisdom, experience or rules. Girls are left on their own, to fend for themselves, throughout life, as best as they can... Few fathers are at home. Divorce & remarriage is rampant. The fathers that are at home are consumed by work, sports, hobbies etc. So the girls try to fill the void in their life with other male affections. Break ups, being dumped, depression, becoming promiscuous, living in sin etc are all "normal," "common place," & even "expected" now a days... They are trying everything, anything is allowed, no one is happy & they have nothing to look forward to, once they're married... A lot of unmarried couples are living together & so many married couples are having affairs today. It is sad, what we have gotten to... Women are seen as nothing more than objects to be used & discarded. Homosexuality is rampant. There is now sex-ed in kindergarten!!! What in the world??? Society is falling apart at the seams!

"Intimacy is the reward of commitment"

- Josh Harris 

Now compare our culture's current standards of (im)modesty & (in)decency to those of the past- where modesty was a treasure. Where intimacy was a gift, to only be displayed in marriage, between one man & one woman. Where male chivalry, headship, leadership, respect & gentlemanly actions ran rampant. Modesty used to be essential & necessary. Women were seen as possessors of a deep & wondrous secret, that was revealed only to the one who proved himself worthy of her. How very different things are today!!!

 What has happened??? How has it come to be that modesty (which used to be a virtue) has now become the bane of modern civilization? How did we get to where we are now? What are we doing wrong??? And what can we do to fix it???

 I believe that we should desire to return to modesty, to the time-tested solutions of years past. By definition, modesty is humility, integrity, virtuousness, shyness, moral, bashfulness, respect for decency, self-restraint, consciousnesses,  purity, chastity & dignity. It has to do with inner beauty. It is a heart issue. Real modesty isn't based on fashion, but on appropriateness. There is such a thing as false modesty also. It's like trying to put a band-aid on an amputated limb.

Christians today look no different than the world. If nothing is secret, then nothing is sacred. Women have the capacity to make men virtuous by acting modestly. We should be saving ourselves for our beloved only. We should be promoting chastity before marriage & fidelity in marriage. Divorce should not be an option!!!

What are you trying to say, by the way you dress, walk, speak & portray yourself? What kind of woman do you want to become?  Even more importantly, what kind of woman does God want you to become??? What kind of reputation do you want to be known for? "Are you a woman worth dying for???"Are you looking to please God with your life? Or man???

  "But there must be not even a hint of sexual immorality & all impurity
or covetousness among you, as is proper among saints..."

- Ephesians 5:3

" And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the
Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him...
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance
as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

- Colossians 3:17, 23-24

"Since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'”

- 1 Peter 1:16

" Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for
you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

"Modesty must be your guide, vertuous thoughts your guard, so shall Heaven be your goale." - Richard Brathwait, 1631

Related posts:

Are You A Woman Worth Dying For?
Why Modesty? Part I
What is "True Modesty"? Part II
Is Chivalry Dead?

Idolatry

 Almost a month ago, a mentor of mine challenged me to check my heart & make sure that it is free from idolatry. Since then, God has brought the topic to mind several different times (through books, sermons, conversations etc). Here is what I have learned:

An idol is something in your life that you are unwilling to let go, something that comes in between you & God. It can be self, movies, music, relationships, books, sin, activities, hobbies etc. Anything that distracts you from the Lord or turns your heart away from Him. 

"God spoke all these words, saying, 'I am the Lord your God...
You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself
a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that
is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall
not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God...'"

- Exodus 20:1-5

What is making it harder for you to focus on Christ? If any pastime, activity, habit, relationship or friendship in your life tends to pull you away from Christ, that's a sign that it doesn't belong in your life. 

Idolatry happens when we look to other things (besides Christ) to give our life purpose, identity, meaning, peace, joy, contentment, excitement, refreshment etc. God grieves over our distracted, wandering, lukewarm, divided hearts! We often look for excuses to keep living self- ruled, pleasure- seeking, sin- loving lives. Submit yourself fully & completely to His transforming work. Lay your selfish pursuits & worldly addictions upon the altar at His feet!

"Whoever loves his life, loses it & whoever hates his life
in this world will keep it for eternal life."

- John 12:25 

When we invite Christ into our life, we don't "make room" for Him amidst our selfishness, sin & worldly pursuits. Rather, by the power of His Grace, we are transformed & made completely new!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

- 2 Corinthians 5:17 

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, & make no
provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

- Romans 13:14

Every moment of every day we have a choice to make. We can either listen to our selfish whims & wants or we can listen to the Spirit of God. There is a constant battle between our flesh & the Spirit of God. We are commanded by God to put to death our fleshly desires & yield to the Spirit's commands. Will you listen to His Voice? Or will you listen to your own selfish desires? Daily life is filled with hundreds of choices to either give in to selfish whims or yield to Christ's Spirit. 

What in your life is keeping you from being consumed by Him alone? Do you have habits of laziness? Selfishness? Are you addicted to worldly entertainment? Is your thirst for comfort & material possessions? Are you longing for popularity & attention? Do you feel the need to control your future? Are you fascinated with the culture? Have you allowed other gods to woo your heart? Have you forsaken your covenant with the King of all kings? Nothing in this world is worth jeopardizing your relationship with Christ. Is Jesus Christ merely a part of your life? Or is He your entire life?

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world,
the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires
of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life —is not from the
Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with its
desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever..."

- 1 John 2:15-17

 

"You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the
world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of
the world makes himself an enemy of God."

- James 4:4

Do you live as if your time & decisions were your own? Or does everything you have belong to Him? Do you allow the distractions & allurements of this world to turn your head, to occupy your thoughts, or to dictate your choices? Or is Christ your sole pursuit? What selfish patterns do you have that need to be remade by Christ's Spirit?

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love;
according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity & cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions & my sin is ever before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned & done what is evil in Your sight,
so that You may be justified in your words & blameless in your judgment...
Purge me with hyssop & I shall be clean; wash me & I shall be whiter than snow."

- Psalm 51:1-7

 
I would encourage you to spend some focused time in prayer & waiting on the Lord, allowing Him to gently reveal those areas of your life that need His transforming touch. All His Spirit to open your eyes to any parts of your daily existence in which you typically yield to your selfish whims & desires. This requires much prayer, repentance & a change of direction- a focused, lifestyle change. It may take a few days, weeks or months for those old habits to fully die. But if you allow Him to retrain & enable you to "deny yourself, pick up your cross & follow Him," you will soon understand what Paul meant when he said, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me" (Galatians 2:20)

" Search me, O God & know my heart! Try me & know my thoughts!
See if there be any wicked way in me & lead me in the way everlasting!"

- Psalm 139:23-24

 

Some questions (food for thought) :

* What can't you live without?
* Are you totally & completely surrendered unto Him?
* What other things might you be looking towards to give your life identity, purpose & meaning? 

* Are you willing to give up all the pleasures & enticements of the world for His sake? 

* What have you not yet surrendered unto the Father?
* Do you love what the Father loves & hate what the Father hates?

* What are you still holding onto???

 *  Why do you do what you do?
* Who are you working for?
* What motivates you?
* What is your work ethic?

* Are you working for the Lord?
* Do you care more about what the Lord thinks of you, than what mere man does?
* Are you working diligently for the Lord?
* When you receive praise for work well done, who gets the glory?
* Do you do the Lord's work in humility, with no thought of self?
* What are your ulterior motives when serving?
* Who are you?
* Where do you find your identity?
* Who do you align/associate yourself with?
* Where do you find enjoyment/pleasure?
* What are your priorities?
* Where do you invest your time?
* Where do you invest your money?
* Why do you "do what you do"?
* Are you trying to save face amongst other Christians?

* Are you placing things above Him (idols)?

* Is Jesus most glorious to you?
*Am you more devoted to ________________ than to Christ?
*What things are trying to replace your “first love”? (job, wealth, relationships etc)

* Is Jesus first in your life right now?

* How can your love (obedience) for God be more genuine (consistent etc)?
* How can your love for others be more ____________ (genuine etc)?

Don't Waste Your Life!

My beau & I have spent the last several days answering some questions concerning our courtship. Questions about our faith, doctrine/ theology, experience, values, preferences, expectations, convictions, traditions, strengths, weaknesses, habits, interests, talents/ gifts, personalities, standards, behaviors etc as we get to know each other better & pursue the possibility of marriage.

 [Once we're finished answering them, we're going to discuss them with our parents] And believe me, there are some hard questions in there! Some that made me drop my jaw & say, "WOW. Did they really just ask that??" [For a complete list of the questions, click here]

Anyway, one of the sections was about values, goals, dreams, plans etc. Some of the questions in that section were as follows:

1. What do you value most highly in life? Second?
2. What is your "life purpose"?

3. How you intend to use your interests, experiences, skills, and talents to serve and glorify God?)

4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20 years?
5. How would those who know you well describe your personal character?

These made me stop & think- Why am I on this earth? What has God sent me here to accomplish? What am I to do with the time He has given me? What are my goals, aspirations, dreams, "plans" etc?

Then I got to the next question-
 

 "When the Lord calls you home, how
would you like people to remember you?" 

 WOW. That really made me stop & think. It's one thing to talk about your goals, dreams, plans, aspirations etc when you're in your early twenties. It's quite another to think about your death- How you want to be remembered, what you want to be known for, what you want to accomplish in your lifetime etc. I really had to think about that one...

So... Some questions for you-

What do you want to be remembered for most?
What do you want your eulogy to be?
What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
What do you want to be "known for"?
What is your Calling?
What is your life's Purpose?
Why are you here on this earth?
What are your goals, aspirations, dreams, desires?
What has God pre-ordained you to do while you are on this earth?

I am not trying to be morbid or dark here. Just something to think about. It is never too early to address these sorts of "heavy" topics. We do not know when our time will come or when the Lord might return (Matthew 24:36-44). Life is "but a vapor..." (James 4:13-17).[For more on this topic, read here & here].


 I think we should be "known for what we do," more than for what we don't do. I don't think it's good enough to be known for being the "good girl," for not "doing bad things." Our standards should be way higher than that. Instead of being known as the one who simply "didn't do bad things," we should strive for a higher standard- being known for the good, right, honourable, righteous, God-honoring things that we do. [For more on this topic, read here]

DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE.

DO HARD THINGS

Do Hard Things Conference 2010- Recap

August 28, 2010

Today marks the two-year-anniversary since we attended the Do Hard Things Conference in St Louis, MO. Alex & Brett Harris' book Do Hard Things has changed my life. God used it at the exact moment that I needed to hear its message. The twins' message still daily impacts my life.

They've impacted my blog too. Particularly, my posts on "Walking With the Wise," modesty (Parts I & II here) & do hard things (Parts I & II).

I'll never forget that day. It was early, it was long, it was late. I spent it with some of my best friends. I made new friends that day too- great friends! We heard a great message, left inspired & ready to take on the world! 

Last year, Alex & Brett announced on their website that they're no longer touring the USA with the DHT message. Since Alex & Courtney got married & the twins are now done with College (at Patrick Henry), we're excited to see what God has in store for them next... Maybe they'll go on to write more books like their big brother Josh? :)

That day in 2010 also marked a major milestone in two of my friends' lives & the mess that followed that Autumn- the hardest thing I have ever experienced to date. That Autumn changed the way I look at everything.

 

As a refresher, some of the principles in Do Hard Things are:

5 Kinds of Hard Things

1) Things that take you out of your comfort zone (taking risks in order to grow)

2) Things that go beyond what is expected or required (pursuing excellence)

3) Things that are too big to accomplish alone (daring & dreaming big)

4) Things that go against the cultural norm (taking a stand for what's right)

5) Things that don't earn immediate payoff (being Faithful & choosing integrity)

I would encourage you to read the book, follow the blog & buy the Conference DVD today!