32 Lessons God Taught Me This Week

Here are some lessons that I learned this past week... May they be a blessing & encouragement to you!

1) Sin will always be found out.
2) Boundaries are there for a reason
3) You will reap what you sow.

"Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner

from the error of his ways will save him

from death & cover over a multitude of sins."

- James 5:20

4) It's a "slow fade"
5) Sin has consequences6) You can become the woman that you swore you would neverbe

 "In repentance & rest is your salvation,

in quietness & trust is your strength."

- Isaiah 30:15

7) You will realize the depth of your own sin, the depravity of your soul & the magnitude of God's love, forgiveness & mercy.
8) Sin affects a lot of people (collateral damage)
9) Sometimes the Lord gives us wisdom/ knowledge before He presents the challenge. Pay attention!

 "Therefore let anyone who thinks
that he stands take heed, lest he fall."

- 1 Corinthians 10:12

10) It is possible to unintentionally hurt the people you love most
11) I have learned what real grace looks like, played out in everyday life.
12) If you aren't advancing (gaining new ground), you are retreating (losing ground you already had). It is a fact of life.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found;

call upon Him while He is near,

let the wicked forsake his way,

let the unrighteous man his thoughts,

let him return to the Lord, that He may

have compassion on him & to our God,

for He will abundantly pardon."

- Isaiah 55:6-7

13) "Integrity is doing what's right when no one is watching." - author unknown

14) Growth is mandatory, required & commanded by God (not an option).

15) A man is nothing without his character, honesty, integrity, good name, reputation etc.

"Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed."

- William Shakespeare

16) It is possible to undo months or years of good behavior with one bad decision- It's not worth it!

17) It is absolutely necessary to think through one's thoughts & actions (& the consequences of them), before doing them. Weigh the consequences!
18) If a lot of people are concerned about a certain issue, there is probably a reason why. Do not ignore the "warning signs"!!!!

"For at the moment all discipline

seems painful rather than unpleasant, but later
it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness
to those who have been trained by it."

- Hebrews 12:11

19) "Honesty is always the best policy." - author unknown Even when it hurts!

20) It does not work to ignore issues & problems- they only fester & grow worse. 21) Trust lost is incredibly hard to regain.

"What good is it for a man to gain

the whole world, yet lose his soul?"

- Mark 8:36

22) It is possible to put on a good front & deceive the masses. But the Truth is known by those who love you most.

23) Sometimes the Lord has to bring you to your knees before your eyes are opened to the utter depravity of your soul & the desperateness of the situation.
24) It is better to do something right the first time, rather than spending time, energy etc to go back & redo it a second time.

"If you call out for insight & cry aloud for understanding
& if you look for it as for silver & search for it as for
hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of

the Lord & find the knowledge of God."

- Proverbs 2:3-5

25) Sometimes you come to that point in your life where there is nothing YOU can "do" to "make it better." You have to put it in God's (capable!) hands & leave it there, to "surrender your precious dreams."

26) Sometimes God wants to teach you a lot of really HARD lessons in a short amount of time- Pay attention!
27) You have to constantly be in the Word, to have the weapons/ strength to fight sin.

"Love covers over a multitude of sins..."

- 1 Peter 4:8

28) It is possible to stumble & disappoint lot of people, including people who look up to you and the ones that you respect & love most.

29) Raw, open, honest accountability is essential.
30) You must take responsibility for what you have done (no more, no less). Scapegoats & blame shifiting is not an option.

31) Less is more. Keep your mouth shut, unless you have something that has to be said.

32) How quickly things can change!

"There is Power in the blood of Jesus/ to break every chain..." - Jesus Culture

"And we know that in all things God works

for the good of those who love Him,
who have been Called according to His Purpose."

- Romans 8:28

Similar Topics to read-
Idolatry
Faithfulness in Marriage
The Power of the Tongue
Fully Surrendering Our Dreams to God
Surrendering Our Precious Dreams to God
Only What's Done for Christ Will Last
Hearing the Voice of God
Better Hearing the Voice of God
Obeying the Voice of God
Temptation
God First
Walk with the Wise
All for the Glory of God

Hindsight
Unrepentant Sin

Love Is...

(According to the Bible)

Love is...

Patient...

Kind...
Does not envy...
Does not boast...
Not proud...
Not rude...
Not self-seeking...
Not easily angered...
Keeps no record of wrongs...
Does not dellight in evil...
Rejoices with the Truth...

Always protects...
Always perseveres...
LOVE never FAILS.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

To Love Like a Child...

Earlier this week, I did something I shouldn't have. I sinned. I hurt those that I love the most. I apologized & repented, but the damage was done.

In the midst of the pain I had caused, a little girl came up & gave me a hug. A hug I desperately needed. But not just any girl. The daughter of one of the families that I had offended.

When I asked her why she did it, she said that "Everyone is acting weird." And she thought I just needed a hug. She was right. And wow. Her love & response floored me. She knew (part of) what was going on & yet she still chose to hug me. Wow. Lord, that we may learn to love like a child!

 "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them & said,
'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn & become like children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself
like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 

 
Whoever receives one such child in My Name receives me,
but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,
it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck
& to be drowned in the depth of the sea."

- Matthew 18:2-6 

"Then children were brought to Him
that he might lay his hands on them & pray.
The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said,
'Let the little children come to me & do not hinder them,
for to such belongs the Kingdom of Heaven.'”
- Matthew 19:13-14

A Return to Modesty- Part III

In our culture today, there seems to be a gross disrespect for female modesty. In fact, there appears to be an attack on female modesty. Modesty is now viewed as outdated & old-fashioned. Society's standards have drastically lowered. People aren't bothered when girls are promiscuous, but they are disgusted when they are shy & reserved! Something is very wrong with this picture... What is our nation coming too???

Most girls don't know how to set limits & boundaries with others. They have lost their parental cover & their father's protection. Parents no longer give advice, guidance, wisdom, experience or rules. Girls are left on their own, to fend for themselves, throughout life, as best as they can... Few fathers are at home. Divorce & remarriage is rampant. The fathers that are at home are consumed by work, sports, hobbies etc. So the girls try to fill the void in their life with other male affections. Break ups, being dumped, depression, becoming promiscuous, living in sin etc are all "normal," "common place," & even "expected" now a days... They are trying everything, anything is allowed, no one is happy & they have nothing to look forward to, once they're married... A lot of unmarried couples are living together & so many married couples are having affairs today. It is sad, what we have gotten to... Women are seen as nothing more than objects to be used & discarded. Homosexuality is rampant. There is now sex-ed in kindergarten!!! What in the world??? Society is falling apart at the seams!

"Intimacy is the reward of commitment"

- Josh Harris 

Now compare our culture's current standards of (im)modesty & (in)decency to those of the past- where modesty was a treasure. Where intimacy was a gift, to only be displayed in marriage, between one man & one woman. Where male chivalry, headship, leadership, respect & gentlemanly actions ran rampant. Modesty used to be essential & necessary. Women were seen as possessors of a deep & wondrous secret, that was revealed only to the one who proved himself worthy of her. How very different things are today!!!

 What has happened??? How has it come to be that modesty (which used to be a virtue) has now become the bane of modern civilization? How did we get to where we are now? What are we doing wrong??? And what can we do to fix it???

 I believe that we should desire to return to modesty, to the time-tested solutions of years past. By definition, modesty is humility, integrity, virtuousness, shyness, moral, bashfulness, respect for decency, self-restraint, consciousnesses,  purity, chastity & dignity. It has to do with inner beauty. It is a heart issue. Real modesty isn't based on fashion, but on appropriateness. There is such a thing as false modesty also. It's like trying to put a band-aid on an amputated limb.

Christians today look no different than the world. If nothing is secret, then nothing is sacred. Women have the capacity to make men virtuous by acting modestly. We should be saving ourselves for our beloved only. We should be promoting chastity before marriage & fidelity in marriage. Divorce should not be an option!!!

What are you trying to say, by the way you dress, walk, speak & portray yourself? What kind of woman do you want to become?  Even more importantly, what kind of woman does God want you to become??? What kind of reputation do you want to be known for? "Are you a woman worth dying for???"Are you looking to please God with your life? Or man???

  "But there must be not even a hint of sexual immorality & all impurity
or covetousness among you, as is proper among saints..."

- Ephesians 5:3

" And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the
Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him...
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance
as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

- Colossians 3:17, 23-24

"Since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'”

- 1 Peter 1:16

" Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for
you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

"Modesty must be your guide, vertuous thoughts your guard, so shall Heaven be your goale." - Richard Brathwait, 1631

Related posts:

Are You A Woman Worth Dying For?
Why Modesty? Part I
What is "True Modesty"? Part II
Is Chivalry Dead?

Is Chivalry Dead?

The Accolade, by Edmund Leighton

Today it is "normal" or "expected" for men to be effeminate, lazy & laidback. Gentlemen are hard to find & are few between. There is an attack on male respect, masculinity & the Biblical concept of male headship. Patriarchy & fatherly protection are thrown out the window. Manners, etiquette & modesty are gone. Roles are reversed. You see "strong," independent men usurping mans' God-given roles & men abdicating left & right, all over the place.

Honorable, chivalrous gentlemen & codes of conduct are things of the past. It used to be that men proved their manhood by being honorable. A man is no longer expected to be a Protector, Provider, Patriarch or Priest to his family, as those are now outdated, old-fashioned, sexist, unequal concepts- as if women needed to be protected or provided for (the idea!). Men today don't know what it means be a man or how to behave around women.

What has changed? Why aren't young men being best prepared today to be those things??? To be full of faith, walking in integrity, preparing to lead & provide for & protect & intercede for their future wives & children? Why are men waiting so long to pursue a wife? Why do they feel like they must wait years before they marry; that they must graduate from college, be financially stable, fully established, have a secure job & career etc before they pursue a wife? What needs to be done differently???

What does it mean to be a man in today's culture? How has that definition changed over the years? How can we expect me to be honorable when a large number of women consistently send them the message that they don't have to be? What if all women expected a lot more of all men? How different would our society look then???

These questions seem to have been around, since the beginning of time- in the Garden, when Eve first tried to usurp her husband's role & step out ahead of him. But I believe that our problem has only gotten worse, as time has gone on...

"'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial.
'I have the right to do anything' —but not everything is constructive."

- 1 Corinthians 10:23

Consider these rules from a 1956 etiquette book:

Walking with a woman: A) In general, a man walks on the curb side of

the street... In walking with two women, a man should keep to
the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other.

 B) A man always opens a door for a woman, & holds it for her
to go through. In case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push

& then lets her precede him. 

C) A man carries packages or suitcases for a woman 

 

Rising for a woman: A) A man rises when a woman comes into a room,
& remains standing until she sits down or leaves, except at a large
party where people are coming & going all the time.

B) A man rises when a woman comes to the table (or half- rises,
at least, in a crowded restaurant) & remains standing til she sits down

or asks him to sit down.

C) A man also rises when a woman leaves the table...

D) A man rises to speak to a woman or be introduced to her...

Courtesies to Women Strangers: A) This takes a little observation on

your part, & it's hard to draw up fast rules about it. If a woman drops her

glove in the street, you'd certainly pick it up... It is not particularly

charming, incidentally, to race a woman, young or old, for

a vacant seat. Tip your hat when you're thanked, & take care

to keep the whole thing impersonal so that it doesn't look as if

you have ulterior motives...

I once heard a quote that every "once in a while a man comes along who isn't afraid to be a gentleman..." That being said, there are still gentlemen out there. Some guys aren't afraid to hold open the door for ladies, give up their chair, give them their coat, walk on the outside of the sidewalk etc. Some guys still are being raised right... Their parents are teaching them manners, chivalry, civility etc. My fiance is one of those men!!! :) I am blessed to have him in my life!!!

Chivalry is not dead, praise the Lord!!! There is still hope! There are still gentlemen out there! And they are worth waiting for, to be sure!!!

Idolatry

 Almost a month ago, a mentor of mine challenged me to check my heart & make sure that it is free from idolatry. Since then, God has brought the topic to mind several different times (through books, sermons, conversations etc). Here is what I have learned:

An idol is something in your life that you are unwilling to let go, something that comes in between you & God. It can be self, movies, music, relationships, books, sin, activities, hobbies etc. Anything that distracts you from the Lord or turns your heart away from Him. 

"God spoke all these words, saying, 'I am the Lord your God...
You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself
a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that
is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall
not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God...'"

- Exodus 20:1-5

What is making it harder for you to focus on Christ? If any pastime, activity, habit, relationship or friendship in your life tends to pull you away from Christ, that's a sign that it doesn't belong in your life. 

Idolatry happens when we look to other things (besides Christ) to give our life purpose, identity, meaning, peace, joy, contentment, excitement, refreshment etc. God grieves over our distracted, wandering, lukewarm, divided hearts! We often look for excuses to keep living self- ruled, pleasure- seeking, sin- loving lives. Submit yourself fully & completely to His transforming work. Lay your selfish pursuits & worldly addictions upon the altar at His feet!

"Whoever loves his life, loses it & whoever hates his life
in this world will keep it for eternal life."

- John 12:25 

When we invite Christ into our life, we don't "make room" for Him amidst our selfishness, sin & worldly pursuits. Rather, by the power of His Grace, we are transformed & made completely new!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

- 2 Corinthians 5:17 

"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, & make no
provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

- Romans 13:14

Every moment of every day we have a choice to make. We can either listen to our selfish whims & wants or we can listen to the Spirit of God. There is a constant battle between our flesh & the Spirit of God. We are commanded by God to put to death our fleshly desires & yield to the Spirit's commands. Will you listen to His Voice? Or will you listen to your own selfish desires? Daily life is filled with hundreds of choices to either give in to selfish whims or yield to Christ's Spirit. 

What in your life is keeping you from being consumed by Him alone? Do you have habits of laziness? Selfishness? Are you addicted to worldly entertainment? Is your thirst for comfort & material possessions? Are you longing for popularity & attention? Do you feel the need to control your future? Are you fascinated with the culture? Have you allowed other gods to woo your heart? Have you forsaken your covenant with the King of all kings? Nothing in this world is worth jeopardizing your relationship with Christ. Is Jesus Christ merely a part of your life? Or is He your entire life?

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world,
the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires
of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life —is not from the
Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with its
desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever..."

- 1 John 2:15-17

 

"You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the
world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of
the world makes himself an enemy of God."

- James 4:4

Do you live as if your time & decisions were your own? Or does everything you have belong to Him? Do you allow the distractions & allurements of this world to turn your head, to occupy your thoughts, or to dictate your choices? Or is Christ your sole pursuit? What selfish patterns do you have that need to be remade by Christ's Spirit?

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love;
according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity & cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions & my sin is ever before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned & done what is evil in Your sight,
so that You may be justified in your words & blameless in your judgment...
Purge me with hyssop & I shall be clean; wash me & I shall be whiter than snow."

- Psalm 51:1-7

 
I would encourage you to spend some focused time in prayer & waiting on the Lord, allowing Him to gently reveal those areas of your life that need His transforming touch. All His Spirit to open your eyes to any parts of your daily existence in which you typically yield to your selfish whims & desires. This requires much prayer, repentance & a change of direction- a focused, lifestyle change. It may take a few days, weeks or months for those old habits to fully die. But if you allow Him to retrain & enable you to "deny yourself, pick up your cross & follow Him," you will soon understand what Paul meant when he said, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me" (Galatians 2:20)

" Search me, O God & know my heart! Try me & know my thoughts!
See if there be any wicked way in me & lead me in the way everlasting!"

- Psalm 139:23-24

 

Some questions (food for thought) :

* What can't you live without?
* Are you totally & completely surrendered unto Him?
* What other things might you be looking towards to give your life identity, purpose & meaning? 

* Are you willing to give up all the pleasures & enticements of the world for His sake? 

* What have you not yet surrendered unto the Father?
* Do you love what the Father loves & hate what the Father hates?

* What are you still holding onto???

 *  Why do you do what you do?
* Who are you working for?
* What motivates you?
* What is your work ethic?

* Are you working for the Lord?
* Do you care more about what the Lord thinks of you, than what mere man does?
* Are you working diligently for the Lord?
* When you receive praise for work well done, who gets the glory?
* Do you do the Lord's work in humility, with no thought of self?
* What are your ulterior motives when serving?
* Who are you?
* Where do you find your identity?
* Who do you align/associate yourself with?
* Where do you find enjoyment/pleasure?
* What are your priorities?
* Where do you invest your time?
* Where do you invest your money?
* Why do you "do what you do"?
* Are you trying to save face amongst other Christians?

* Are you placing things above Him (idols)?

* Is Jesus most glorious to you?
*Am you more devoted to ________________ than to Christ?
*What things are trying to replace your “first love”? (job, wealth, relationships etc)

* Is Jesus first in your life right now?

* How can your love (obedience) for God be more genuine (consistent etc)?
* How can your love for others be more ____________ (genuine etc)?

Faithfulness In Marriage

 I am to be marry to the man of my dreams in 5 short months. We have been courting for 7 months & yet I am still in shock & surprised by it all! Mark is amazing & I do not deserve someone as awesome as him in my life!!! He has exceeded my wildest dreams! God's ways are definitely better than our ways!!! :) [Isaiah 55:8-9]

In preparation for getting married, my mind have turned towards thoughts of love, marriage, children, a house of our own etc. Asking questions like, "What does a God-centered marriage look like? How can I best serve & honor my husband? What is 'true love'? What does 'true love' look like?" I am thinking about the sacredness, solemnity & responsibility of marriage. Of the real depth & magnitude of the words "'til death do us part."

On those lines, if someone were to ask me what character qualities I most desire/ look for in a husband, I would definitely say that he must be a man of strong faith. No if's, and's or but's about it.

But a close second to that would be that he must plan on being faithful, a man of no compromise. This is very important to me. Divorce is not an option, in my eyes.

Two & a half years ago, something happened that radically changed the way I view everything- God, faith, family, life, love, marriage etc. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it all. September 2010 was the hardest thing that I have ever walked through. [You can read more about that situation here]

Back then, my friends & I had a lot of conversations about what real love, faithfulness in marriage, sacrificial love etc look like. About what really matters in life. How there is a "slow fade" into sin. [Here I am reminded of the "Slow Fade" song by Casting Crowns] How it starts with small, baby steps in the wrong direction & all of a sudden, you wake up, years later & you are way off the beaten path, not knowing how in the world you ended up there! What we can do, to keep "that" from happening with us. The importance of prayer, accountability, community etc. How we are Called to a life of integrity, of living "without a hint of... immorality" (Ephesians 5:3) in our lives

Almost 3 years later, I still haven't forgotten those conversations. This desire for purity, faithfulness, accountability etc has not waned. If anything, it has grown stronger with time. I want my marriage to "go against the odds." To change the divorce statistics (that one in two marriages end in divorce; how more 'Christian' marriages end in divorce, than those of unbelievers!) To show the world what real, Christ-like, God-centered, sacrificial love looks like.

"Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall."
- 1 Corinthians 10:12

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded;
& from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

- Luke 12:48b