Many times, I have heard girls ask what they are supposed to
do while they are
waiting for the Lord to bring the right young man into their lives. Questions like "
But what will I do, spending all day at home? What are you supposed to do, if you choose to not go to College? Can't I better serve God by getting a degree? But what if _________________ happens???" So many times I have heard phrases like "
You must have a lot of free time, right???" haha! I
wish!!! ;) People, just don't have a clue, do they?
My advice is this:
use this time of singleness to
actively prepare for your future. Stay at home. Serve your parents & siblings. Learn everything you can,
from home. Read profusely (non-fiction, of course!), on all beneficial subjects. Do the mundane, everyday, so- called "boring" tasks that no one else wants to do. Learn a new skill, that will bless your family. Serve your family, Church body & the community. Learn
more than just how to cook, clean, budget, balance a checkbook, decorate, teach school, do laundry, garden & sew. That is the
bare minimum. Walk with integrity. Strengthen your faith. Ask God to purify your character. Go above & beyond what is expected or required (
Do Hard Things #2). Do
everything you can
now to learn how to be a
good wife & mother. And above all, do it with a
happy heart.
"A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
- Proverbs 17:22
I say this, speaking from experience. I am to be married to the
man of my dreams in 5
short months & there is SO much to do, learn & prepare. I feel
ill- prepared. If I could go back & do things over, there is
SO much I would change & do differently, to be more prepared to better serve my husband! Speaking from experience, do
NOT waste this time of singleness. Because you
can't get back this season of your life!
I am reminded of the Apostle Paul's advice in
1 Corinthians 7
(especially verses
32-34), about how a single person is able to use this time to serve the
Lord & her or her family, while a married person is primarily
preoccupied with serving his or her spouse. Use this time of singleness
to best serve the Lord & your family, to learn & to prepare!
Another thing us girls can do is to
pray for our future husbands
now, even if you might not know who he is yet. Ask the Lord to bless him mightily, to increase his faith, to strengthen his character, to teach him how to lead your family, that God would give him a multi-generational Vision, that He would teach
you how to be a good helpmate & wife to him, that the two of you might raise a godly family, walking in His Ways.
"I continually bring to mind the fact that I will not be single
forever & I do not want to waste this time as a single! There is no
other season in life like it, when it's just me & the Lord!...
Another thing I do is to pray & ask the Lord what specifically my
future husband needs me to pray for right now, in this moment.
Even though I don't know him, God does, & I want to pray very
intentionally for him. Sometimes I hear very specific things &
sometimes I don't, so I just pray about more general things for him.
Either way, mountains get moved in the spirit."
- When God Writes Your Love Story, testimony by Lauren (age 24)
You can also use this time of singleness to
practice being a wife & mother, by serving your parents & siblings. "The habits you form
now & how you treat your family
now will have a
direct impact on how you will treat your
own husband & children someday." That can be a
scary thought!
You can also serve your future husband
now by closely watching how you interact with other men, whether they be fathers, brothers, friends, your Pastor, strangers or acquaintances. You do not want to cultivate habits of flirtatiousness, immodesty, disrespect, dishonor, flightiness etc
now (& thus gaining that kind of reputation), if you do not plan on acting like that once you are married.
Faithfulness is a discipline that is refined & honed through years of practice. It is developing a habit of loving your future husband through
patiently waiting,
consistently hoping & living by the
high standard to which you've been Called. It is strength learned through
persevering;
integrity gained through
waiting.
I am reminded of the
Proverbs 31 woman, who "does her husband good
ALL the days of her life," (verse 12), not just
after she has met him, or once they are
married. There are good habits, character traits etc to be cultivated & practiced
now, in preparation for the "someday," when we
are married, the good Lord willing.
And, we must remember that not
all people are Called to marry. Some strong Christians remain single their entire lives, married to their Eternal, Heavenly Bridegroom, instead of an earthly husband. Marriage is
not the end- all
goal of life. The
goal of life is
Christ-likeness. Marriage is just one of the
means of achieving that.
Remember
Who it is that you are working for. We are working for the
Lord, seeking to honor
Him
(& not man) in our activities, educational pursuits, hobbies,
pastimes, decisions about the future, how we use our time etc. We are
not required to compete with (nor report to) society, the culture, the world etc as to how we spend our single years. We are Called to something
better than that!!! :)
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything
in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through Him... Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord & not for men..."
- Colossians 3:17, 23
Let me know if you have any thoughts or questions about this...