Doug Phillips, Cleansed by Fire

During a family Thanksgiving celebration, we received some news that saddened us very much. A well respected, much revered, prominent Leader of the homeschool community had fallen. He was our Hero. We thought he was "unsinkable," above reproach.

This news struck a blow at our hearts. His preaching, work & ministry have drastically changed the way my family thinks, lives & operates. I even wrote three blog posts (here, here and here) about three of his messages. God has used him instrumentally to affect & influence many fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, pastors & families over the years. But he has done the unthinkable- sinning against himself, his family & our community.

Many people have spoken out about this event. His actions have influenced many more people that he could ever have imagined. His wife, family, friends, Church, the homeschool community, critics... the world. Some people have spoken out in sadness, anger, reproach & support. Others (enemies of the conservative homeschool movement) have reacted in joy, that the Enemy has "triumphed".

You can read about Doug Phillips' resignation letter, a clarification & about the closing of Vision Forum here. Scott Brown (director of NCFIC, formerly on the board of Vision Forum & a friend of Doug Phillips) wrote about the need for repentance here. The Summers family (of Family Covenant Ministries, formerly CHEF) wrote about it in their November newsletter. Soon after this happened, I read this article in the Wisdom Hunters Devotional series.

Here are my humble thoughts on the topic. Take them for what they're worth.

It is my belief that God will use this event for good- both for Doug Phillips, his family, the Church & the homeschool community as a whole.

Events like this are like the Refiner's Fire- purifying & cleansing the Body. Showing what one really believes, at the core of his being. Time will tell just what the impact & influence of this grave event truly is.

- We are all subject to sin, weakness & temptation. No one is exempt from this, except Christ Himself. Not even our leaders. I think too often we place these men of the faith on a pedestal, elevating them to heights that they cannot reasonably live up to.

“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him;
and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day,
and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
-Luke 17:3,4

-  Instead of judging & pointing fingers, let us instead examine ourselves before God. Let God be the Judge. It is very important for us to hold fast to our Confession of Faith (knowing what we believe & why), lest we too fall away. "There, but for the Grace of God, go I." If a godly leader such as Doug Phillips could succumb to sin & temptation, then you & I should go forth in much fear & trembling!

"Therefore let anyone who thinks that
he stands take heed lest he fall."

- 1 Corinthians 10:12

“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass,
you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness;
each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”
- Galatians 6:1-3

- What then is our response to this? Be gracious.

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, 

so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. "

- Colossians 4:6

 - Why are we surprised by this? We know that the devil is a roaring Lion, seeking whom he can devour. Do not discount his ability to trick, destroy & deceive.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil
prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking
someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith..."
- 1 Peter 3:8-9a

- "A lone ranger is a dead ranger."  Accountaibility, confidence & prayer are vitally important.

- Don't let anything get before your love, commitment & devotion to the Father. Keep Him first in everything.

- Do not put your faith in man, but rather in God. For man will always disappoint us & fall short of the mark. But only Christ, the one & only sacrifice, perfect & without sin can satisfy our thirst & desire for Truth.

“Come, everyone who thirsts,
    come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
    come, buy and eat!"

- Isaiah 55:1 

- Just because the leader fell into sin, does not mean that his beliefs, lifestyle & teachings were wrong. He spoke on the importance of family, duty, faithfulness, leadership, motherhood, patriarchy, virtuous femininity, chivalrous manhood & boyhood. These are all good, important topics rooted in the Bible. They are not to be thrown out, cast aside or ridiculed. Man's actions cannot void God's Word.

- God's ways are not our ways. He sees the bigger picture. He has the Heavenly Perspective. 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    & my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

- Isaiah 55:8-9

- This is not the end of the story. God is Sovereign, Faithful & Just. He knows the End of the Story... Whereas we do not.

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope
without wavering, for He who promised is Faithful."

- Hebrews 10:23

- Let us repent & cry out to God as a whole, with genuine sincerity & repentance.

"If my people who are called by my name humble themselves,
& pray & my face and turn from their wicked ways,
then I will hear from heaven & will forgive their sin & heal their land."

- 2 Chronicles 7:14

“Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.”

-Psalm 51:2

Please join with me, in praying for Doug Phillips & his family in this time of hurt & pain- for repentance, faith, grace, forgiveness & restoration.

"If you call out for insight & raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver & search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord & find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge & understanding;

 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice & watching over the way of his saints."

- Proverbs 2:3-8

To God be all the glory! Persevero...


Related Posts:
Accountability
Temptation
Faithfulness in Marriage
Unrepentant Sin & the Unrepentant Believer
Guard Your Heart!
The Power of the Will
Forgiven Much, Loves Much
Don't Waste Your Life!
Walk with the Wise
God Moves in a Mysterious Way
Humility
Whose Vision Are You Serving?
The Potter & the Clay
Are You Who You SAY You Are?
Prosperity
More Sin, More Grace
A Multi- Generational Vision
Idolatry: Part I & Part II
Love
Do Hard Things- Part I & Part II
All for the Glory of God
Our Identity in Christ
Only What's Done for Christ Will Last
The Tragedy of a Wasted Life

Remember the Lord!

I'm sorry that it has been SO long since I have written on this blog. Between getting married 5 weeks ago, moving to a new town, setting up house, quitting my job of 6 years & starting our own family business, things have been quite busy as of late, to say the least!

Anyway... This is what is on my heart today...

 This past Sunday, my husband, his family & I attended Church (the Lord's Family Fellowship) with some of our friends. During the sermon, the pastor touched on this verse-

"And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers.
And there arose another generation after them who did not know
the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel."
- Judges 2:10

This verse struck me. In just one generation, the entire nation of Israel forgot the Lord (we see this happening over & over in Israel's history, as layed out in the Old Testament). Because one generation of parents failed to tell their children ofthe Lord & all of the great wonders that He had performed for them personally and for their forefathers in years past, an entire generation "forgot" the Lord. What a tragedy!

 "Hear this, you elders;
    give ear, all inhabitants of the land!
Has such a thing happened in your days,
    or in the days of your fathers?
Tell your children of it,
    & let your children tell their children,    & their children to another generation."
- Joel 1:2-3

It is our duty & responsibility to tell the next generation what the Lord has done for us personally/ individually and for our nation over time. We must pass on our Christian heritage. We must hold on to the Promises. We must not lose our convictions or our sensitivity to the Spirit's touch! Our time on this earth is short. None of us know when our time might come. This is of the utmost importance. Too much is at stake!

 "When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord
said to Joshua, 'Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man,
& command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of
the Jordan, from the very place where the priests' feet stood firmly, & bring them
over with you & lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.' Then Joshua
called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed,
a man from each tribe. Joshua said to them, 'Pass on before the ark of the Lord
your God into the midst of the Jordan, & take up each of you a stone upon his
shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, that this
may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to
come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that
the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant
of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan
were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”
- Joshua 4:1-7

How will the next generation know who they are, if they do not know where they came from or why they are the way that they are, what has caused them to be who they are & make decisions the way that they do?

"Posterity shall serve Him;
    it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation;
they shall come & proclaim His righteousness to a people yet unborn,
    that He has done it." - Psalm 22:30-31

We must recognize the Lord's Sovereign hand upon our lives AND in our nation's history. We must see God drawing us out of the World & Calling us to Himself (Ephesians 1:4-10).

"My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth.
I will utter the hidden things, things from of old- things
we have heard & known, things our ancestors have told us.
We will not hide them from their descendents; we will tell the
next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
His power & the wonders He has done. He decreed statutes for
Jacob & established the law in Israel, which He commanded
our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation
would know them, even the children yet to be born, & they would
in turn tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God &
would not forget His deeds but would keep His commands. They
would not be like their ancestors- a stubborn & rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to Him..."
- Psalm 78 (especially verses 1-8)

 "REMEMBER! REMEMBER! REMEMBER!" Remember who you are, remember your history remember what God has done for you (& your family, Country etc), remember who you are Called to be, and remember Who you serve.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all
your soul & with all your might. These words that I command you today
shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children,
& shall talk of them when you sit in your house, & when you walk by the way,
& when you lie down, & when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand,
& they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on
the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
- Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Related articles-

December 2012- "Hindsight"August 2012- "The Staff & the Sword"

July 2012- "A Multi- Generational Vision"May 2012- "Thank You"

April 2012- "Remember! Remember! Remember!"

March 2012- "Do Not Give Up"

February 2012- "Whose Vision Are You Serving?"
October 2011- "Remember! Remember! Remember!"

August 2011- "Are We Remembering Those Who Came Before Us?"

August 2011- "Only What's Done For Christ Will Last"
August 2011- "The Tragedy of a Wasted Life"

Our Family Business!

Earlier this summer, Mark & I started our own website. It is far from being finished, but I thought that I would share the link here, just in case anybody wants to check it out. :)

Our website is for our business- Heritage Farms Kennel. Basically, our story is this...

We both have a passion for family businesses, entrepreneurship etc. We have a multi-generational Vision. We don't want to be a two-income family, where both parents are at work all day & the kids are sent to daycare & public school every day. Our dream/ goal is to one day have a Farm of our own to raise our children on (as many as the good Lord gives us!), with many animals... We plan on homeschooling. We want to go as much "off the grid" as possible... One day dreaming of raising our own (grass fed!) beef, organic chickens, eggs, pork; having a huge garden etc... The goal is the buy as little (processed!) food from the grocery store as possible!

Mark's family has a kennel on their Farm. He has grown up around animals his whole life. I grew up with dogs my whole life & love animals (& the Country life!!!). We both desire to have our own home business. So it was natural for us to stay in his family's business.

We are in the process of establishing our business now. Right now, we raise Bichon Frises, Standard Poodles, Miniature Pinschers, Labradoodles, Italian Greyhounds & Teddy Bear (Shichon) puppies.

Check out our website for more information! :) THANKS for stopping by! :) Be blessed today!

(All photos taken by Cornerstone Farms Pet Photography... Taken by Emma R!)

Who Defines Marriage?

Below is a great article that I just read from Answers in Genesis (Ken Ham's ministry), about recent Supreme Court orders concerning the future of marriage in America. Includes a lot of history & background information. A very well-written article. Well worth the read! Check out the link below!

Answers in Genesis: Who Defines Marriage?

Surrender

I Surrender Song

"There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

I surrender...

No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

- Kim Walker Smith

Idolatry- Part II

An excerpt from Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex & Power, & The Only Hope that Matters by Dr Timothy Keller

(pg 19) ... "The most painful times in our lives are times in which our Isaacs, our idols, are being threatened or removed. When that happens we can respond in two ways. We can opt for bitterness & despair. We will feel entitled to wallow in those feeelings, saying, 'I've worked all my life to get to this place in my career, & now it's all gone!' or 'I've slaved my whole life to give that girl a good life & this is how she repays me!' We may feel at liberty to lie, cheat, take revenge, or throw away our principles in order to get some relief. Or we may simply live in a permanent dispondency.

Or else, like Abraham, you could take a walk up into the mountains. You could say, 'I see that You may be Calling me to live my life without something I never thought I could live without. But if I have You, I have the only wealth, health, love, honor & security I really need & cannot lose.' As many have learned & later taught, you don't realize Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have."

(pg 170).... "David Powlison writes: .... 'that most basic question which God poses to each human heart: 'Has something or someone besides Jesus the Christ taken title to your heart's functional trust, preoccupation, loyalty, service, fear & delight? Questions... bring some people's idol systems to the surface. 'To who or what do you look for life-sustaining stability, security & acceptance? ... What do you really want & expect [out of life]? What would [really] make you happy? What would make you an acceptable person? Where do you look for power & success?' Those questions or similar ones tease out whether we serve God or idols, whether we look for salvation from Christ or from false saviors."


See also-
Idolatry Part I
Accountability

Accountability

"A  lone ranger is a dead ranger."
- Author Unknown

On Friday, I received a text from a mentor/ friend of mine (see below). It is amazing to me, how keen her "sixth sense" is, how she always texts me at exactly the right moment. God has used her & her family in so many ways to strengthen, challenge & inspire me over the years.

So... On Friday, while I was at work, I received the following text. At the time, I did not see the meaning or purpose of it, but thanked her & the Lord for it & moved on. Last night, the Lord showed me His purpose in giving it to me. Sometimes the Lord gives us wisdom/ knowledge before He presents the challenge. Pay attention!

Below is the text. May you be blessed, strengthened, encouraged & equipped by the reading of it! :)

"Charles Spurgeon says, 'Vain pursuits are dangerous to renewed souls. No Christian is safe when his soul is slothful. When the Christian departs from his God (or His Ways), he becomes spiritually starved & feeds on vanities. That is when Satan lures him away even further.'

My prayer for you is that you feed your soul & cry out like the Psalmist in Psalm 38:21-

"O my God, be not far from me!"

& the wise one in Proverbs 30:8-

"Remove far from m vanities & lies."

Choose Truth, blessing & life OR lies, curses & death. God or Satan. You can't choose both. I am praying that you choose wisely, so your Soul will be filled!"

WOW. How very timely! God is Faithful!

Related posts-

Idolatry
Faithfulness in Marriage
Hindsight
Unrepentant Sin
DO HARD THINGS

32 Lessons God Taught Me This Week

Here are some lessons that I learned this past week... May they be a blessing & encouragement to you!

1) Sin will always be found out.
2) Boundaries are there for a reason
3) You will reap what you sow.

"Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner

from the error of his ways will save him

from death & cover over a multitude of sins."

- James 5:20

4) It's a "slow fade"
5) Sin has consequences6) You can become the woman that you swore you would neverbe

 "In repentance & rest is your salvation,

in quietness & trust is your strength."

- Isaiah 30:15

7) You will realize the depth of your own sin, the depravity of your soul & the magnitude of God's love, forgiveness & mercy.
8) Sin affects a lot of people (collateral damage)
9) Sometimes the Lord gives us wisdom/ knowledge before He presents the challenge. Pay attention!

 "Therefore let anyone who thinks
that he stands take heed, lest he fall."

- 1 Corinthians 10:12

10) It is possible to unintentionally hurt the people you love most
11) I have learned what real grace looks like, played out in everyday life.
12) If you aren't advancing (gaining new ground), you are retreating (losing ground you already had). It is a fact of life.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found;

call upon Him while He is near,

let the wicked forsake his way,

let the unrighteous man his thoughts,

let him return to the Lord, that He may

have compassion on him & to our God,

for He will abundantly pardon."

- Isaiah 55:6-7

13) "Integrity is doing what's right when no one is watching." - author unknown

14) Growth is mandatory, required & commanded by God (not an option).

15) A man is nothing without his character, honesty, integrity, good name, reputation etc.

"Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed."

- William Shakespeare

16) It is possible to undo months or years of good behavior with one bad decision- It's not worth it!

17) It is absolutely necessary to think through one's thoughts & actions (& the consequences of them), before doing them. Weigh the consequences!
18) If a lot of people are concerned about a certain issue, there is probably a reason why. Do not ignore the "warning signs"!!!!

"For at the moment all discipline

seems painful rather than unpleasant, but later
it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness
to those who have been trained by it."

- Hebrews 12:11

19) "Honesty is always the best policy." - author unknown Even when it hurts!

20) It does not work to ignore issues & problems- they only fester & grow worse. 21) Trust lost is incredibly hard to regain.

"What good is it for a man to gain

the whole world, yet lose his soul?"

- Mark 8:36

22) It is possible to put on a good front & deceive the masses. But the Truth is known by those who love you most.

23) Sometimes the Lord has to bring you to your knees before your eyes are opened to the utter depravity of your soul & the desperateness of the situation.
24) It is better to do something right the first time, rather than spending time, energy etc to go back & redo it a second time.

"If you call out for insight & cry aloud for understanding
& if you look for it as for silver & search for it as for
hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of

the Lord & find the knowledge of God."

- Proverbs 2:3-5

25) Sometimes you come to that point in your life where there is nothing YOU can "do" to "make it better." You have to put it in God's (capable!) hands & leave it there, to "surrender your precious dreams."

26) Sometimes God wants to teach you a lot of really HARD lessons in a short amount of time- Pay attention!
27) You have to constantly be in the Word, to have the weapons/ strength to fight sin.

"Love covers over a multitude of sins..."

- 1 Peter 4:8

28) It is possible to stumble & disappoint lot of people, including people who look up to you and the ones that you respect & love most.

29) Raw, open, honest accountability is essential.
30) You must take responsibility for what you have done (no more, no less). Scapegoats & blame shifiting is not an option.

31) Less is more. Keep your mouth shut, unless you have something that has to be said.

32) How quickly things can change!

"There is Power in the blood of Jesus/ to break every chain..." - Jesus Culture

"And we know that in all things God works

for the good of those who love Him,
who have been Called according to His Purpose."

- Romans 8:28

Similar Topics to read-
Idolatry
Faithfulness in Marriage
The Power of the Tongue
Fully Surrendering Our Dreams to God
Surrendering Our Precious Dreams to God
Only What's Done for Christ Will Last
Hearing the Voice of God
Better Hearing the Voice of God
Obeying the Voice of God
Temptation
God First
Walk with the Wise
All for the Glory of God

Hindsight
Unrepentant Sin

Love Is...

(According to the Bible)

Love is...

Patient...

Kind...
Does not envy...
Does not boast...
Not proud...
Not rude...
Not self-seeking...
Not easily angered...
Keeps no record of wrongs...
Does not dellight in evil...
Rejoices with the Truth...

Always protects...
Always perseveres...
LOVE never FAILS.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

To Love Like a Child...

Earlier this week, I did something I shouldn't have. I sinned. I hurt those that I love the most. I apologized & repented, but the damage was done.

In the midst of the pain I had caused, a little girl came up & gave me a hug. A hug I desperately needed. But not just any girl. The daughter of one of the families that I had offended.

When I asked her why she did it, she said that "Everyone is acting weird." And she thought I just needed a hug. She was right. And wow. Her love & response floored me. She knew (part of) what was going on & yet she still chose to hug me. Wow. Lord, that we may learn to love like a child!

 "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them & said,
'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn & become like children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself
like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 

 
Whoever receives one such child in My Name receives me,
but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,
it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck
& to be drowned in the depth of the sea."

- Matthew 18:2-6 

"Then children were brought to Him
that he might lay his hands on them & pray.
The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said,
'Let the little children come to me & do not hinder them,
for to such belongs the Kingdom of Heaven.'”
- Matthew 19:13-14

A Return to Modesty- Part III

In our culture today, there seems to be a gross disrespect for female modesty. In fact, there appears to be an attack on female modesty. Modesty is now viewed as outdated & old-fashioned. Society's standards have drastically lowered. People aren't bothered when girls are promiscuous, but they are disgusted when they are shy & reserved! Something is very wrong with this picture... What is our nation coming too???

Most girls don't know how to set limits & boundaries with others. They have lost their parental cover & their father's protection. Parents no longer give advice, guidance, wisdom, experience or rules. Girls are left on their own, to fend for themselves, throughout life, as best as they can... Few fathers are at home. Divorce & remarriage is rampant. The fathers that are at home are consumed by work, sports, hobbies etc. So the girls try to fill the void in their life with other male affections. Break ups, being dumped, depression, becoming promiscuous, living in sin etc are all "normal," "common place," & even "expected" now a days... They are trying everything, anything is allowed, no one is happy & they have nothing to look forward to, once they're married... A lot of unmarried couples are living together & so many married couples are having affairs today. It is sad, what we have gotten to... Women are seen as nothing more than objects to be used & discarded. Homosexuality is rampant. There is now sex-ed in kindergarten!!! What in the world??? Society is falling apart at the seams!

"Intimacy is the reward of commitment"

- Josh Harris 

Now compare our culture's current standards of (im)modesty & (in)decency to those of the past- where modesty was a treasure. Where intimacy was a gift, to only be displayed in marriage, between one man & one woman. Where male chivalry, headship, leadership, respect & gentlemanly actions ran rampant. Modesty used to be essential & necessary. Women were seen as possessors of a deep & wondrous secret, that was revealed only to the one who proved himself worthy of her. How very different things are today!!!

 What has happened??? How has it come to be that modesty (which used to be a virtue) has now become the bane of modern civilization? How did we get to where we are now? What are we doing wrong??? And what can we do to fix it???

 I believe that we should desire to return to modesty, to the time-tested solutions of years past. By definition, modesty is humility, integrity, virtuousness, shyness, moral, bashfulness, respect for decency, self-restraint, consciousnesses,  purity, chastity & dignity. It has to do with inner beauty. It is a heart issue. Real modesty isn't based on fashion, but on appropriateness. There is such a thing as false modesty also. It's like trying to put a band-aid on an amputated limb.

Christians today look no different than the world. If nothing is secret, then nothing is sacred. Women have the capacity to make men virtuous by acting modestly. We should be saving ourselves for our beloved only. We should be promoting chastity before marriage & fidelity in marriage. Divorce should not be an option!!!

What are you trying to say, by the way you dress, walk, speak & portray yourself? What kind of woman do you want to become?  Even more importantly, what kind of woman does God want you to become??? What kind of reputation do you want to be known for? "Are you a woman worth dying for???"Are you looking to please God with your life? Or man???

  "But there must be not even a hint of sexual immorality & all impurity
or covetousness among you, as is proper among saints..."

- Ephesians 5:3

" And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the
Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him...
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance
as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

- Colossians 3:17, 23-24

"Since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'”

- 1 Peter 1:16

" Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for
you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

"Modesty must be your guide, vertuous thoughts your guard, so shall Heaven be your goale." - Richard Brathwait, 1631

Related posts:

Are You A Woman Worth Dying For?
Why Modesty? Part I
What is "True Modesty"? Part II
Is Chivalry Dead?

Is Chivalry Dead?

The Accolade, by Edmund Leighton

Today it is "normal" or "expected" for men to be effeminate, lazy & laidback. Gentlemen are hard to find & are few between. There is an attack on male respect, masculinity & the Biblical concept of male headship. Patriarchy & fatherly protection are thrown out the window. Manners, etiquette & modesty are gone. Roles are reversed. You see "strong," independent men usurping mans' God-given roles & men abdicating left & right, all over the place.

Honorable, chivalrous gentlemen & codes of conduct are things of the past. It used to be that men proved their manhood by being honorable. A man is no longer expected to be a Protector, Provider, Patriarch or Priest to his family, as those are now outdated, old-fashioned, sexist, unequal concepts- as if women needed to be protected or provided for (the idea!). Men today don't know what it means be a man or how to behave around women.

What has changed? Why aren't young men being best prepared today to be those things??? To be full of faith, walking in integrity, preparing to lead & provide for & protect & intercede for their future wives & children? Why are men waiting so long to pursue a wife? Why do they feel like they must wait years before they marry; that they must graduate from college, be financially stable, fully established, have a secure job & career etc before they pursue a wife? What needs to be done differently???

What does it mean to be a man in today's culture? How has that definition changed over the years? How can we expect me to be honorable when a large number of women consistently send them the message that they don't have to be? What if all women expected a lot more of all men? How different would our society look then???

These questions seem to have been around, since the beginning of time- in the Garden, when Eve first tried to usurp her husband's role & step out ahead of him. But I believe that our problem has only gotten worse, as time has gone on...

"'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is beneficial.
'I have the right to do anything' —but not everything is constructive."

- 1 Corinthians 10:23

Consider these rules from a 1956 etiquette book:

Walking with a woman: A) In general, a man walks on the curb side of

the street... In walking with two women, a man should keep to
the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other.

 B) A man always opens a door for a woman, & holds it for her
to go through. In case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push

& then lets her precede him. 

C) A man carries packages or suitcases for a woman 

 

Rising for a woman: A) A man rises when a woman comes into a room,
& remains standing until she sits down or leaves, except at a large
party where people are coming & going all the time.

B) A man rises when a woman comes to the table (or half- rises,
at least, in a crowded restaurant) & remains standing til she sits down

or asks him to sit down.

C) A man also rises when a woman leaves the table...

D) A man rises to speak to a woman or be introduced to her...

Courtesies to Women Strangers: A) This takes a little observation on

your part, & it's hard to draw up fast rules about it. If a woman drops her

glove in the street, you'd certainly pick it up... It is not particularly

charming, incidentally, to race a woman, young or old, for

a vacant seat. Tip your hat when you're thanked, & take care

to keep the whole thing impersonal so that it doesn't look as if

you have ulterior motives...

I once heard a quote that every "once in a while a man comes along who isn't afraid to be a gentleman..." That being said, there are still gentlemen out there. Some guys aren't afraid to hold open the door for ladies, give up their chair, give them their coat, walk on the outside of the sidewalk etc. Some guys still are being raised right... Their parents are teaching them manners, chivalry, civility etc. My fiance is one of those men!!! :) I am blessed to have him in my life!!!

Chivalry is not dead, praise the Lord!!! There is still hope! There are still gentlemen out there! And they are worth waiting for, to be sure!!!